Saturday, January 19, 2013

The Smoking Crayon

I admit it, deep inside of me is a kid at heart, just crying to come out and play. For so long now, all I've wanted to do is spend time creating fun things with Play-Doh and lose myself in a good coloring book with crayons. No responsibilities, no profit and loss sheets to pore over, no inventory to count and order, no advertising to write, no stress; just... crayons.

During the holidays, two young girls who are very dear to me decided to give me the ultimate gift. A HUGE coloring book, a box of crayons, and Play-Doh! There was also a beautiful necklace and bracelet that I cherish.  But... the CRAYONS!!

Oh. My. Goddess. It was SO cool to open that bag and see these childhood relics right in front of my eyes. Of course, the first thing I did was smell the coloring book AND the crayons. They have a unique odor that just invokes all kinds of warm and fuzzy childhood memories for me. This was... nirvana. And it was all mine!

My first picture was sooooo much fun to color! I haven't used crayons in so many years and was afraid I'd end up coloring worse than a 5 year old. With lots of concentration, I was able to stay in the lines AND do some nice blending of colors. I even gave this little mousie a name and added a few embellishments of my own.

Felix over there might just play a supporting role in the book I plan to write this year. Hmmm...!

Fast forward a few weeks. So last night I'm reclining on the couch with Dave watching  barely paying attention to what was on TV. I grabbed the coloring book and crayons out of the bag that I keep next to the couch, and began working on a cute butterfly looking thing. Yes, this one was a "color by numbers" outline. Don't hate.

So anyway, I wanted to have a smoke. I didn't want to lay the crayon I was using in my lap because it might roll off. So I stuck it in my mouth. I then grabbed a cigarette in one hand, lighter in the other. Something on TV caught my eye... I believe Uncle Si was talking on Duck Dynasty (another crazy indulgence of ours; Uncle Si fascinates the hell out of me!!) I mindlessly raised the lighter and began to flick my Bic at the same moment my brain cued into the signal from my mouth that what I was tasting wasn't the normal menthol of my cigarette filter... but... {GASP} CRAYON!! I dropped that lighter like a hot potato and collapsed in a fit of giggles. And then, of course, I grabbed my phone and posted a status update to the world that I had just tried to smoke my crayon.

The moral of this story is: When life hands you crayons, don't smoke them! ;-)

Until next time,


  1. I adore colours, & colour theory. For crayons, it must be Crayola,however. Any other brand is too waxy (&, yes, I've tried every brand that I can get my hands on).

  2. Lucky for me, these were Crayola! :-) I was thinking how fun it would be to get into colored pencils next...

  3. LMAO, only MY bff would do this!! I so saw everything happening too- which only made it all the funnier!


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